


Regrets

by elfghoul



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Emotional Hurt, Levi grieving, M/M, Manga Spoilers, this poor man, why is levi always in pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7790746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfghoul/pseuds/elfghoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short fic set during chapter 84. This is completely spoilers and Levi reflecting on Erwin.</p>
<p>Can be read as a sequel to "Walls", I guess.</p>
<p>----</p>
<p>“Erwin, I promised that I’d take out the beast titan. But, it seems like that it’ll take a while longer.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He’s gone.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

“Erwin, I promised that I’d take out the beast titan. But, it seems like that it’ll take a while longer.”

 

“He’s gone.”

 

He was gone. Levi knew not to doubt Hange’s words. He didn’t want to look, he didn’t want to feel the loss of Erwin. Yet, he found his eyes wandering to the former commander’s lifeless body while the others watched Armin. The familiar sound of titan shifting didn’t register to his ears anymore. He was numb, there was nothing around him that could bring his mind back to focus in that moment.

 

The man who lead so many, who did his best to be a beacon of hope for humanity, was gone. Even in his final moments he was branded a demon. This man who lead him out of darkness and suffering would only be known as a martyr to everyone, except Levi.

 

Erwin was there when nobody else was. After his best friends had died, despite how much Levi wanted to kill him for his lack of sympathy, he followed Erwin’s orders. Erwin was his wings that lead him into the light, away from the underground, away from his past. Levi became a soldier for Erwin.

 

After the death of Petra and his squad, Levi felt like his life was losing it’s meaning. All this endless death. There was so much of it in this world. So many times he found himself recalling the pain and suffering he felt. Too many nights he’d lie awake at night, staring blankly at the ceiling with tears brimming his eyes.

 

There was only one place where he felt he could let himself relax. Erwin’s office was where he would sit and forget for a moment. Reclining wherever he saw fit, bickering a little with the commander, complaining about how his papers needed to be reorganized, the little chuckles he’d receive from the man he trusted more than any other when Levi would make a foul joke. It was all gone.

 

Nothing was left for him. Erwin was gone. There was no changing that. Even when he was granted a chance at living, he fought against it.

 

It wasn’t fair. How  _ dare _ he leave Levi. The bastard knew it was a suicide mission, but he went nonetheless. He knew Levi wouldn’t be able to move on without him. It felt as if Levi’s wings were missing, no longer able to fly without them. The man he loved was gone. Still, he wouldn’t cry, not here. Levi should have convinced him to drop the mission, not let him go, somehow get his words to sink in.

 

_ I need you. I love you. Please don’t leave me. _

  
Now, Levi felt regret. The hope he felt was gone, along with the man who helped him believe.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're an emotional wreck and you know it raise the arm Erwin doesn't have ¯\\_(ツ)
> 
> (I'm sorry)


End file.
